Douglas Diary Monday 7th April 2014 We are still moored outside The Mermaid pub and my uncle Noah has left, he has gone to Cumbria. Now we are expecting my long haired one’s sister Maureen and her husband David to stay on board with us for a few days. They join us each year. They arrived at lunch time. It has been decided that it will be a good political decision to have lunch there today in The Mermaid so that they can ask, as the six of them sit down to eat, if it will be O.K. To leave their car in the car park for a few days. Naturally, I will be on guard duty but I might get lucky. Also near the pub is Wightwick Manor, a National Trust property where I have been before, it is very nice, I am allowed in the grounds but not the house. Apparently there is a good collection of pre-raphelite works hanging within. I expect the humans will visit there again today. It has stopped raining and is looking brighter. I was right and after they returned from lunch there was diddley squat for me! Then the heavens opened which delayed our departure. Then the sun came out and we had a beautiful cruise to Bratch locks. Sent from my IPad x

Hi Bruv, we are feeling a bit left out here in the same old campo – none of the adventures that you are having but at least we don’t have to use a broom handle on the ‘poop’ deck. Our master started muttering about the sky on our walk and said that the bearded one would know if that was Mars in the East and if the thing beside the moon was Jupiter. To cap it all a bright light came across the sky and he got down on all fours and started bowing to something called a ‘space station’. We are being our usual naughty selves and have got comfortable living here down to a fine art. Last night the weekly bone delivery arrived, our master muttering something about 10 euros and bankruptcy but nothing to spoil our pleasure. The weather is perfect and boss said something about ‘rocco being visible but this did not mean food.
Hi Douglas,
Lila here writing on behalf of myself & Raffles! Wuf!
Raffles is gradually getting over his back operation relapse & spent a test night in kennels last weekend (with me also) & came home in one piece.
He has started to go on short walks again. My owners say they cant leave him for long just yet – just days – so no Spain yet but they would like to try and meet up with your owners if possible before the end of your trip!
I know Easter is in the way (which is good cos they always feel guilty & give us doggie choc drops!) .. and our other Mummy, Katie is moving flats & wants lots of help as usual! She has just come back from 3 weeks in India (but didn’t meet any dogs). She resigned from her job AND gave notice on her flat before she set off & came back with 2 weeks to find another Marketing job & flat in London & cos she’s always jammy – she did it!
Anyway my paws are getting tired – so bye for now.
Lila & Raffles x
Just as I thought, they haven’t changed their ways at all………..false promises, neglect and I bet they even used washing up liquid to clean you ! I’m becoming extremely concerned over your welfare and the hairy ‘ones’ need to put straight over a few facts so here goes and make sure you tell them good and proper !
1……..Properly trained a man CAN be a dogs best friend.
2……..You think I can’t count ………..huh……….put three biscuits in your pocket, give me 2 of them then ask me again.
3…….If I don’t like someone then you shouldn’t either.
4……the reason I have more friends is because I wag my tail not my tongue.
5……I get mad when you blow air in my face but when we are in the car you stick your heads out of the window……………so who’s the polite one………….
6……When the weather worsens and you put my coat on then you put a tail on……….
I’m pretty convinced the hairy ‘ones’ won’t take any notice but it may be worth pointing these facts out to them anyway. Explain to them that you are of Royal decent and the introductions to the hierarchy I’m sure will be forthcoming……….the hairy ‘ones’ have already penciled in their diary appointments to see Sir John and Samuel Smith, Lord Ruddles, Lord Boddington……………..oh, and there must be entertainment going on as I overheard them saying something about ‘Harp’, ‘Queens Arms’ and giving a ball a kick in the ‘Kings Head’…………….obviously some ball game that involves music and dancing………..
Furthermore, I am just completing your flag to aid your protests should you need to take that route. It is obviously red and goes well with the red collar you may have to wear ………..you will be known as ‘Citizen Canine’……………..then you can show them. I can recall them saying they liked Marx a lot………….or was it a lot of Marks…………I may have missed something but not to worry, just rebel anyway !
I’ll be in touch with further actions shortly…………….
Hi Douglas. We were a bit worried to hear of your change of plans – very dramatic but at least you will be safe from premature sinking for the moment. (our boss tried to explain the latest near miss and rescue you had suffered in your long kennel as a result of some steering problem but we got rather lost ourselves on that one) At the moment your mum is here but leaves tomorrow on the long journey back to Swissland with her Swissmiss and someone called Eliane. Mum has been a bit bossy, growling at us and pinching our bones but it has been like old times. We have not liked the last two days of rain but today the sun is out and we are looking forward to exploring the hill again. That big park with all the egg things sounds fun and give our best well wishing tail wags to the lady of the manor…..boss says she came here to our house with her tramp, took over the kitchen and cooked a fish ‘supper’ that he has never forgotten !
Shiver me timbers, them’s some great inotfmarion.